An end that was a beginning

In late February 2017, I did something fairly momentous and some would say, foolhardy. I “retired early” by quitting my full-time corporate gig at age 46! It is something that I’d been mulling over for the better part  of a decade. In my early musings, I never had a firm expectation of how I would do it, or what the impetus for action would be. Mostly, I just dreamed of what the post-action reality would be like. A dream of freedom of lifestyle, with total control over how I spent my time, pursuing activities, people and places that bring me joy, rather than those that fill me with anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.

However I did it, pragmatism was required, at least from a financial standpoint. Countless hours was spent creating and analyzing spreadsheets…trying to think of every possible financial scenario that I could control and what each meant for my dream. I freely admit that it wasn’t an easy process. Frankly, there were moments filled with absolute terror! Not only was I was considering giving up a 6-figure income, but a world that I knew and prospered in. What would people think of me?  How was I going to live if I didn’t have a job to go to everyday? Who was I? These were some of the thoughts that kept running around my head. There were times when I so filled with anxiety that I questioned my own sanity. Let’s face it, I was having an existential crisis!

I’m a mellow Type A these days, but back then, there was an overwhelming need to check every box, to consider and control every risk, as a way to mitigate my fear. There was a lot of handwringing, journaling, reading of countless books and long chats with friends and random strangers I met traveling.  But I was doing myself somewhat of a disservice, because I wasn’t listening to my inner voice, but instead trying to apply logic to a decision that in large part, was an emotional one. Don’t get me wrong, all of the self-help book and spreadsheets helped to inform my decision. But the decision itself comes from a knowing place inside of you, one that isn’t governed by fear. Once I started paying attention to this inner place, the decision was shockingly easy. Looking back, I realize my soul was calling out for a dramatic shift. No waiting until every box was checked, or bank balance met. It was time to be my authentic self, to live the life I’d been dreaming of, to be who I want to be, regardless of what everyone else says I should.

I couldn’t stop smiling for days after I resigned. A week later, I met up with a mate to share the big news; he told me that I looked as though I had regressed in age by about 5 years. Living on your own terms will do that!! I haven’t really stopped smiling since, because between you and me, I like the person I became once I left corporate, far more than I liked who I was while I was in it. Turning in that resignation letter felt like a rebirth! Actually, it WAS a rebirth…the first day of the rest of my life!

In America and the world broadly these days, one of the first questions you get when meeting someone for the first time is “What do you do?”. These days, with a big smile on my face, I reply “I live!”. It never ceases to amuse me, the look of shock I’m often presented with. I then get the inevitable questions and comments about how “rich” I must be and how many millions I must have in the bank. At this, I usually laugh and shake my head, because I don’t consider myself rich, but comfortable. In all fairness, this website isn’t for folks who are desperately struggling to make ends meet. Some don’t have a choice in whether they work or not. I know that I’m in a unique position and am incredibly grateful for all that I have.

So, how did I find the courage to quit? It was not easy, let me say that straight off. Hard work was required long before I even begun to think about turning in my resignation and continues long after the transition. If you’re thinking of casting aside the old 9-5, simply want to change careers, or because you want to work to live rather than live to work, I hope you will find something helpful on this site, even if just food for thought.